Ebble : Ever since I entered my teens, I heard my dad praying for my ‘Life partner’ as he had been doing for my brother and sister in our family prayers. I am the youngest at home and I was amused that dad should include me in the ‘elder’ childrens’ prayer point. One day I told dad that it sounded funny and that he could start praying for our life partners when we were in our final years of college. Dad as usual smiled and continued praying for our life-partners !

Through our turbulent teens, my mom started fasting and praying for her precious children. Each of us had our own trips into the devil’s traps and finally in the year 1981, I sincerely turned my life to Christ. (Thanks to mom’s prayers). When I finished my degree and entered my P.G. Course I began to pray for my life partner (thanks to dad’s influence.)

I need to mention here that during my U.G. Course I had romantic involvement which fell through and left me shattered! I thought I would never get over it but still I prayed, ‘Lord help me to meet the right person. I don’t want to go fishing for my life partner and in the end get hurt. So, lead me to Mr. Right!’

Along with praying for Mr. Right , I placed, my desires of what I wanted in my life-partner at the feet of God and prayed for His sovereign overruling even in my desires. For eg: l am an extrovert and am all out for fun and laughter! I longed for a life partner who would understand my sense of humour and laugh along rather than consider me crazy. Today I can truly say that God has given me a fun-loving, handsome, and mature, believing husband who tops all the guys I ever met in life. So, on my part what I did was

1. to PRAY for my life partner and

2. to PLACE my desires of my life partner at God’s feet for His sovereign overruling.

Well Let’s hear what he has to say now!

Philip: I attended a camp one Summer and met a family of believers. I was fascinated by this family which proved to be a Christian family in every sense of the term. They were full of love, music and Jesus. Their youngest daughter immediately caught my attention.

Having grown in the EU-EGF set up, I received several exhortations on ‘finding God’s will’ for your life-partner.

One thing that I faithfully did was to pray for the right person to come into my life at the right time. I was twenty five years of age and dad was not a born-again Christian. The scene at home was quite rough. From the very beginning I had to make my own decisions – be it branch of education, college or vocation. It was only by God’s grace that I completed my education because resources at home had dwindled by then.

Even though dad was not a believer, he was very glad that I was converted and was busy organising camps and taking Bible studies in campuses. He trusted my decisions and let me choose my vocation among other things. My elder brother (a believer) found his life-partner (a believer-girl) and got married with the blessings of my parents. It was a kind of model I was to follow and the only requirements my dad seemed to have for my bride to be was a ‘sharp nose’ and ‘a substantial family’. (Sounds familar.)

I have met several ‘sisters in the Lord.’ I had even prayed about a few (at different times of course) for my life-partner. But somehow I never felt peace in my heart at the idea of ever proposing to them!! But I saw something very unique in this family. They had been wealthy at one time (like we were) but had now lost power, position and bank balance. Nevertheless they were joyful all the time-rejoicing that their God had not left them helpless. Further their daughter (let’s call this lady ‘doll) was very talented and yet was humble. She was submissive and that was what I had always desired in my wife-to-be. I prayed about it and before the camp was over, I found time to talk to her. It seemed that she had developed a liking for me. At the end of our talk’ I proposed and she agreed that we would pray about it. Thereafter we told our mothers who solemły promised to pray for us! (thank God for such God-fearing mothers who pray and don’t EXPLODE!!!)

Philip and Ebbie: A few months passed and we neither met nor wrote to each other. Not that we forgot each other, but though it was tough, we stuck to our decision to pray and seek the Lord’s leading! Secondly, we decided not to meet as our testimony was very important. We permitted occasional phone call though!!! Even in our relationship we prayed and believed that if it was of God, it would sustain-if not it would fall through.

She gave me a poster of a beautiful rose with these words,

If you love something, set it free,

If it comes back to you, it is YOURS,

If it doesn’t – it NEVER was!!!

For two long years we waited, (Phew!) though these two years we both received several other proposals. At times our relationship seemed as though it would not materialise in marriage but through tears we fell on our knees and asked God for guidance.

Individually, we read the word of God with diligence. We asked God to speak to us and to our parents in clear terms. At times it seemed convenient to appropriate Bible verses to our advantage in our relationship. Even when our daily Bible Reading had such verses, we asked God to confirm His will in our lives (a) thro’ circumstances – we both deeply desired the blessings of our parents and b) though His word again!

Occasionally, as individuals, we fasted and prayed as we waited for guidance and His timing.

Philip: Finally in the year 1987, things fell into place. My dad took ill and my brother came down from the U.S. He met my girl’s family. Within a week the engagement was fixed and within six months we were married. Praise God!!

Reflecting on our years of married life, I am grateful to God for my lovely wife. There have been times when the going has been very tough for us- but she stood by me and we braved life together! (we had promised on our wedding day For better, for worse’…in the presence of God!) We now have two sweet children – a boy and a girl- aged 7 and 5. As printed on our wedding card eight years ago, we know that.

He will perfect that which concerns us !!! Psalm 138:8 Amen !

If you are already praying for your life partner dear reader, we would like to share a few specific steps in finding God’s will:

1. Pray and ask God to help you to discern His will

2. Keep an open mind in willing submission to the Holy Spirits guidance. (This step is Not at all easy! But you need to be willing to drop the proposal if God says a ‘No’ though it may hurt you)

3. There is one basic Biblical principle in terms of partnership for believers. llCor. 14,15, If the person’ you are praying about is not a believer (washed by the Blood of Jesus) please stay away (ie-presuming you are a believer!) Don’t try to evangelise that person pray a great deal for him/her and ask God to speak to him/her. You stay away for a while! keep being sensitive to the Spirit’s guidance!

4. Wait on the Lord! ‘Waiting’ is a process, and it is for a period of time. A man of God said, ‘the greater the decision, the longer the wait!’ Don’t jump into something in a hurry! If that girl/boy is from God it will materialize, provided you take time to know the heart of God.

5. Meditate on the scriptures. Do not run around for prophesies!’ God loves you intensely and longs to share His desires for you personally! If need be, take up a fast and meditate on the Word of God and not on the person!!!

6. After much prayer seek Godly counsel from a mature believer. Finally take your time and then decide. Remember marriage is like a ONE-WAY traffic road! Once you enter it you cannot reverse or take a U-turn. You need to go through with it ‘till death us do part!”.

God bless you!

-Philip & Ebbie