The family altar is basic. The first thing Abram did after leaving Haran and arriving in the land of Canaan was to build “an altar unto the Lord” (Gen. 12:7). This altar of worship became the centre of Abram’s family life. It affected his thinking, his planning, his actions, and it directed his life God-ward into an intimacy with God.

Start the family alter as a couple. Why pray as a couple? :

· Prayer is the backbone of a Christian marriage.

· It is one of the most powerful weapons you have against divorce and for building intimacy in the marriage.

· It will provide an opportunity to learn how your spouse thinks about spiritual issues.

· It will teach you to be open with one another.

· It will form a strong bond and make it easier for you to discern God’s will for you as a couple.

· It will bring miraculous results as you allow God to work in your marriage and family.

· It will lower the number of disagreements between you because you will begin to be more patient with each other, and you will begin to see things from God’s point of view.

· It will lay a foundation for a spiritual legacy for your children – and their children.

· Prayer unites you spiritually before God. When you are coming before God as a couple, you are united spiritually before God as a team. You are now operating on the level that God intended for couples to operate on. Jesus prayed for unity among his followers. [John 17:20–26]

· Prayer is the glue that strongly bonds a couple together.

· Prayer encourages humility and honesty. Experiencing unity of heart with your mate is not automatic. It requires a special attitude by both partners. You have to be humble and honest not only with God but also with each other.

· Prayer develops and deepens your communication. Good communication is a fundamental key to real companionship and prayer is the hand that turns the key to open this door. If you pray individually and not together as a couple, you tend say things to the Lord that you would never say to each other in casual conversation. For example, when a woman hears her husband praying earnestly about his situation at work, she may realize, Wow, I had no idea this was such a difficult issue for him. The wife now knows how to better pray for her husband.

· You will find that sharing things with God and with each other deepens the level of trust and love that you already have with each other. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by praying together.

The husband should take the lead in this matter of praying together as a couple. As the spiritual head of the family, it is his responsibility to lead. So stop shirking your responsibilities and make the decision to pray together as a couple.

How to develop a lifestyle of prayer as a couple?

· Make a decision to pray. The enemy does not want you to discover the treasure of prayer as a couple. One of his strategies is to keep you and your spouse from praying together. So make a choice

· Make your spouse your prayer partner. Tremendous power is available when couples become partners in prayer. The Bible says two are better than one. There are times in your prayer life when you need others to pray with you and pray for you. Who better than your

spouse who knows you best. Jesus said, Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven (Matt. 18:19).

· Pray every day with your spouse. Better still to start every day with your spouse in prayer. In just a few minutes you and your spouse can be spiritually united for the tasks and challenges ahead. You can share your hopes and find mutual comfort and support in seeking God together.

· Practice “vulnerable” prayer. Along with praying “Lord, help us,” or “Lord, help them,” we pray “Lord, help me.” When we pray this way, we are comfortable enough with each other that we can bring forward, with candour and honesty, our weaknesses, our failures, and our struggles, and talk openly with God in the presence of our spouse. Risking being spiritually naked.

Tips on how to start praying together:

· Find a mutually agreeable time. Try to determine the most undistracted time of day possible that works for both you. If you don’t make time for prayer, you will never find time for prayer. After all, you set aside specific time for grooming or eating every day, so too you will need to set aside time for prayer with your spouse.

· Keep the prayer time short. Begin with a short time together at first, possibly just a few minutes. This will keep your partner from becoming discouraged, impatient, or intimidated. Let the Lord slowly and naturally lengthen your prayer time together as a result of the Spirit drawing you forward, not by some external rule you have set up. It will also keep you more focused on what you are praying about.

· Let both husband and wife pray. Remember that this is a team effort.

· Pray for your marriage. The best way to handle praying for your marriage is to first thank Him for your spouse and request God’s help in the areas where you are personally failing. This is the “remove the plank from your own eye” principle that Jesus taught in Matthew 7:5. When you begin asking God for a greater love or a willingness and sensitivity to be a servant to the needs of your spouse, he or she will sense your humility. In the long run, this will draw the two of you closer.

No human prayer is perfect. Our attention drifts. Like Jesus’ disciples, we ask his help in learning to pray—and we help each other.