By nature, we are self-focused and want our own way. We impose unrealistic expectations on our spouse and get upset when they are not met. God’s design is different. The faith relationship is not natural and it focuses not oneself, not on the spouse but on God who is the author and finisher of our race.  “Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Heb. 12: 2 One can only learn about this kind of relationship from God through His Word.  

A question that commonly comes up when discussing faith relationships is, “Can God fulfil my needs in this relationship despite my spouse’s shortcomings and weaknesses?” The answer is yes! If God can meet your needs, then your spouse’s weaknesses no longer limit you. This fact frees husbands and wives to love one another unconditionally as they thank God for His gracious gift – their spouse!” It is everyday dependence on Him, His strength, His grace and wisdom. 

Essential steps to be taken every day: 

We need to ask God to search our heart and expose to us (not our spouse’s) what areas we need to work on in drawing closer to the Lord, and then drawing closer to our spouse Psalm 139:23-24 

Make time for deep, open communication. The goal must be to know and be known. We need to discuss with our spouse, what activities, responsibilities, and events have caused to develop some misunderstanding, resentment in our marriage. Let us allow an atmosphere of openness and vulnerability to get the most out of the discussion. Growth throughout the marital journey requires openness and flexibility. They are to learn to deal constructively with anger and hurt. 

We are to identify the true enemy! Tell your spouse they are not your enemy! Fight together with the power of the Holy Spirit against the one trying to destroy your marriage. Ephesians 6:12 

For people of faith, it also means being alert to the mysterious working of the Holy Spirit. Contemporary culture wants answers and certainty; faith requires trust and surrender. The invitation to the marital journey, and the resources to undertake it, come from God. God gives us enough clarity to take the next few steps, even if we cannot see the entire road and where it will end. 

Relating to each other from a faith perspective can make a mediocre marriage amazing and even restore marriages when husband and wife are ready to call it quits.