Many people go through life like relentless mountain climbers so absorbed in getting to the top that they don’t enjoy the scenery along the way. They long for the day in which they can look over everything from the mountain peak and when they get there they find the views are no more exhilarating than those they could have had on the upward path.
Too often we parents are the same way about children.
“I can hardly wait until he gets out of the diaper stage. I am a slave to the washing machine”.
“That’s the third pencil she has lost this week, I will be glad when she gets over being a five year old”.
“How untidy he is! Hair never combed……… Won’t it be wonderful when he gets to be a teenager and is more concerned about his appearance……….”
“How does anyone keep from going insane around teenagers? Noise, noise, noise all the time. Never think of anyone besides themselves……”
“What good does it do to raise a family? They grow up and forget you. All those years of sacrifice has gone waste”.
Haven’t you heard such statements expressed at sometime in your life. Yes, family life has its great moments and not so great moments. It involves a lot of sacrifice. It is more than a birth process. And ironically joy seems deeper and richer when it is contrasted with some hard times.
When we have children, let us enjoy each stage as it comes along. Otherwise, we will always be searching for the mountain top experience, never realising that it is to be savoured each day. Each stage in parenthood should be enjoyed as the mountaintop experience, not just the final rocky ledge at the end of the climb as the only source of joy. True, goals are important and we need to set goals for ourselves and for our kids. But the goal setting should not be so overwhelming that we don’t take time to enjoy each step of the way.
Each stage along the way has both liabilities and compensations. The parents who truly enjoy their kids must dwell fundamentally on the compensations or joyous moments, although being human, they may feel there are days when all the liabilities gang up on them,. Raising children involves numerous challenges and it can be very frustrating also. But still there are happy moments. Let us enjoy those precious moments in each stage.
What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of the average parents? The tiny baby may fill up the washing machine with diapers and wet sheets and may seem to cry for no reason at all. We may have a number of sleepless nights. But there is something terrifically exciting about a new life – a promise for the future.
During the first year of life, a new baby learns so many things that no parent can fail to notice each accomplishment and rejoice. If a good routine is established, a baby is very little trouble in the early months.
As the child learn to sit up or crawl, a stroller makes it easier to move the child and high chair makes it easier to feed him/her. No longer can we assume that the kid can be safely put down but the parents need to carefully monitor the child. But the child is learning so much that only an indifferent parent could fail to be impressed and proud.
Two year olds can be into anything and everything but its fun to watch the increase in their vocabulary and their abilities grow.
The elementary school age is in many respects the easiest of all ages. Children learn both some independence and respect for authority. The kids enjoy doing many things together –going on picnics, playing, swimming etc. It’s good to watch the many things children can do at this stage and they appreciate family involvement and support. Of course schooling brings additional responsibilities like parent – teachers meetings, scouts, guides, knowing the friends of our kids, entertaining them etc but all there can be rewarding experiences. This is the time when the children want their parents to be involved in their activities and are very excited to have us around them. When they be teenagers they would not want us to involve especially while they are in a group.
Although teenage brings an end to the problem of baby sitting and they are old enough to be responsible, often this is the most difficult age. Suddenly what parents thin or say is of no importance at all to them and the judgement of fellow teenagers or a youth leader are of overwhelming value. But this belittling of parental ideas and habits is a necessary adjunct to growth and their eventual independence.
The adult stage can be the most fascinating one of all if we have permitted our children to mature and trained them to make their own decision. We can enjoy each other as friends, accepting each other’s faults and limitations as well as virtues.
At each stage, a pattern of spiritual growth can run parallel to the kid’s mental and social development. As a preschooler, the child can begin learning that God loves him/her and cares for him/her in many special ways. During the elementary school years, the child will be formulating a sense of right and wrong. If the child is taught at this stage to understand God’s standards of right and wrong, the child will include that in the working of his/her conscience. If God’s standards are not taught, the child would act on the level of the moral standards he/she seen practised in the world around him/her. Children vary greatly as to when they are personally ready to express their faith in Christ. Many Christian educators are of the opinion that the late elementary or early high school years are the prime time. Parents need to do all they can to show their children the joy and reality of Christian belief during this very important developmental stage before the stress of adolescence catches up with them. The parents who want to enjoy their children need to be sort of optimistic people who see a glass of water as half full and not half empty. Each stage of family life may have its difficulties but each also has its blessings. Happy are the parents who look on the positive side and enjoy the view along the way.