A crisis can occur at any point in the marriage journey. Major life events, trauma, illness, or death can shake even the strongest partnerships. People feel all sorts of emotions when they face crisis, such as fear, anger, worry, depression, resentment, helplessness, and grief. Jesus said, “In this world you will have tribulation” (John 16:33). That is a disturbingly unqualified statement. You will have. Not you might have. You will have. 

In the Old Testament, Job faced the worst pain and loss that any human could imagine. He lost all of his children in a single day. All 10 of his children died in a natural disaster, and when Job got the news, the Bible says: 

Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:20–21 ESV) 

People might have heard parents quote this passage from memory at the funeral of their teenage son/daughter. Some might have heard it sobbed out in faith, through tears by a husband and wife whose baby died in the delivery room. 

Whether it is the loss of a child, or the inability to have a child, or the spiritual death and apostasy of a child, or whether it is the loss of health, the loss of a job or the death of a dream—sooner or later the crisis of loss must be faced in our married life. 

• What matters is not whether a crisis happens, but how you address it together. Staying together through life’s ups and downs is necessary and possible. When it comes, don’t turn on one another. Don’t blame one another and don’t pull back from one another. Come together. Find comfort and shelter in one another. “Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” NKJV 

• Acknowledge these emotions before God. It does no good to stuff emotions or deny they exist. God created us to feel emotions, and he doesn’t expect us to act happy when we’re grieving. it’s okay to be honest about our grief. God wants to comfort us in tragedy. He is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

• It’s a huge mistake to isolate yourself when you’re going through a crisis. We all need the support, encouragement, and presence of other people, particularly in the aftermath of tragedy. 

• Lean on Christ for stability. Psalm 112:6-7 in the (NKJV) reads as follows:6 “Surely he will never be shaken; The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance.7 He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.” 

• Look to the Bible. As we look to God in faith through the Scriptures, we will gain strength and wisdom. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able [to bear]. 1 Corinthians 10:13 

• A crisis helps us clarify our values by showing us what really matters and what really doesn’t matter. It gives us an opportunity to shift our dependence to something that can never be taken from us. Through it, God can teach us that we may lose our homes, our careers, our spouses, our children or our health, but we will never, ever lose our relationship with God. He promised to never leave us or forsake us—and that’s an eternal security we can build our lives on. A man’s life does not consist of what he possesses. A tragedy teaches us that the greatest things in the world aren’t materials; what matters are relationships. 

• Avoid making hasty decisions: When intense emotions are running high, most of us are often in shock. Choose to pause and bring the situation to the Lord in prayer before taking action. Let’s seek God for wisdom to make the right decisions, and trust Him to direct our steps.  

• Choose to be positive and not bitter. We all have the power to decide how tragedy affects us. If we choose bitterness, then we’ll only end up hurting ourselves—and we’ll also shut the door on our own happiness because we can’t be happy and bitter at the same time. One skill that will help people make the choice to be happy is learning to focus on what’s left—not what’s lost. God wants us to still be thankful for what we have. 

• Understand the problem. Sometimes crisis can occur within a marriage. It is important to realize that every marriage or family problem involves at least two people: you and the other person. How might you have contributed to the problem? How might you need to change? What attitudes and actions need to be addressed? The more you understand the problem, and how to address it, the more you will be able to follow God’s blueprints for your marriage and family. By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established. –Proverbs 24:3. 

Crisis is to be viewed not as a breakdown, but as an opportunity for spiritual redemption and relational growth.