Angelo Gnanadurai

The young boy Charlie Chaplin had rarely seen his father, who lived away from the family. Yet, when he saw him, he admired him deeply. Though the senior Chaplin was wayward and irresponsible, his son still adored him as a hero. Similarly, in the Old Testament, young Isaac trusted his father Abraham, even when he was about to be offered as a sacrifice. To a child—especially a boy—the father is the most secure and trusted figure. Instinctively and almost universally, a boy looks up to his father as a hero.

As the boy grows into adolescence, this attitude often begins to change. His circle widens, and he becomes closer to his peer group. At times, he may even see his father as an obstacle. Gradually, the image of the father as a hero may fade.

This is a delicate stage in a father’s life. The son is growing, forming his own opinions, and making his own decisions—though they may not always be right. The father must watch carefully and guide wisely, without unnecessarily interfering. If the son seems to be heading in the wrong direction, the father should gently and tactfully help him correct his course. If needed, he can involve a trusted teacher or a respected adult who can positively influence the boy.

The father–son relationship is crucial in shaping a boy into a man. Two important ways a father can influence his son are by spending quality time with him and by accepting him unconditionally.

Time is one of the most valuable elements in any relationship. Love is often expressed through time. Strong relationships are built gradually and require consistent investment. A father has a unique advantage in the early years, as a son naturally admires him. As someone said, “Till a boy is fifteen, he does what his father says; after that, he does what his father does.” Unfortunately, many fathers lose this advantage by taking the relationship for granted in their busy lives.

Many fathers make the mistake of replacing time with material things. However, time cannot be substituted. This has caused many father–son relationships to weaken.

Some fathers are physically present but emotionally unavailable. They may be preoccupied with numerous things. Yet, a son may only need a short time of undivided attention. A father should make time to be with his son—both at home and outside.

Consider this example: A father and son went fishing together. The father later wrote in his diary that it was a frustrating and unproductive day. The son, however, wrote, “Today I went fishing with my dad. It was one of the greatest days of my life.” What may seem insignificant to a father can be deeply meaningful to a son.

A father must also accept his son as he is. Children differ in abilities and temperament. Comparing one child with another or showing favouritism can damage relationships. Love must not depend on performance or behaviour. Even when a son fails, he should feel secure in his father’s unconditional love.

The father in the story of the prodigal son stands as a powerful example. When the son returned, the father did not question or condemn him. Instead, he embraced him with love and acceptance. This is the model fathers are called to follow—restoring and supporting their children, no matter their failures.

In today’s world, many fathers face the painful challenge of a wayward son—caught in harmful influences such as bad company, addiction, or wrong choices. Is there hope? Yes. The way is simple yet powerful—prayer. Persistent prayer can bring a lost son back. God’s desire is to restore and save. A father must not only pray but also be ready to receive his son with unconditional love when he returns.

Finally, a father must be willing, if necessary, to sacrifice personal ambitions and career pursuits to be available for his children. Raising a son well is far more valuable than worldly success.

There is no greater calling for a man than to be a faithful father.