There comes a stage in a mother’s and daughter’s life when they begin to share openly—not just as parent and child, but as friends on a deep and fulfilling level. This stage does not happen overnight. It develops gradually over the years. Communication from the early stages of a child’s life is the key to building this beautiful friendship. Good relationships cannot develop without good communication.
Today’s families lead busy lives. Mothers, fathers, and children all have hectic schedules. Everyone is occupied with their own activities, and opportunities for meaningful communication often become rare. Parents may frequently say things like, “Don’t do that,” “Stop fighting,” or “Sit and study,” but this is not healthy two-way communication. True communication is not merely talking or instructing—it is being fully present with the other person, making them feel valued in that moment. Parents must intentionally create such opportunities.
It is not necessary to announce “communication time.” For a young child, communication is natural, informal, and spontaneous. A mother must be available when her daughter needs her—especially after school. Even if she is tired or busy, the child may need help, reassurance, or simply someone to listen. A daughter quickly senses irritation, rejection, or lack of interest. If she repeatedly feels neglected, she may withdraw and hesitate to share her thoughts as she grows.
She may begin to think, “My mother is too busy for me,” or “She doesn’t understand me.” To prevent this, mothers should create situations that encourage natural communication. Spend time together through simple activities—playing games, working on crafts, sharing tea after school, or doing household chores together. Show interest in all aspects of her life—not just academics, but her friends, hobbies, and experiences. When a child hears only instructions or criticism, she may begin to avoid her mother’s presence.
Listening is especially important. When your daughter speaks, give her full attention. Maintain eye contact and show genuine interest. Listening communicates respect.
For example, if a child expresses concern about something important to her—like needing a new outfit for a party—it is important not to dismiss or change the subject. Instead, acknowledge her feelings and discuss them. When parents ignore or redirect such conversations, children may feel unheard.
As daughters grow, mothers must adjust their approach. Treating an older child as if she were still very young can lead to resentment. Children appreciate being respected as they mature.
During the teenage years, daughters may become more withdrawn or silent. This phase must be handled with sensitivity. Mothers should avoid forcing conversations or prying into private matters. Instead, they should remain patient, loving, and available. Over time, the daughter may choose to open up. How a mother handles this phase can shape the future of their relationship.
If a mother withdraws or becomes too busy, the gap widens. The daughter may interpret this as indifference. Patience and gentleness are essential. Mothers must be willing to wait and give their daughters the time they need to express themselves.
When a daughter does open up, it is important not to respond with criticism, judgment, or preaching. Instead, listen calmly, show empathy, and affirm her feelings. When a daughter feels understood and accepted, she will begin to see her mother as a trusted friend.
In today’s fast-paced world, we often ask whether quality time or quantity time is more important. The truth is, both are necessary. Simple shared moments—like shopping together or talking casually—may not seem deep, but they build the foundation for meaningful communication. It may take time for deeper conversations to happen, but the investment is worthwhile.
Even when immediate results are not visible, time spent together has lasting impact. What may seem ordinary to a mother can be deeply meaningful to a daughter.
Becoming friends is God’s beautiful plan for mothers and daughters.
-Beulah Chandrasekar