‘To my wife without whose unbounded patience and loving encouragement this book could never have been written.’ This kind of dedication is sometimes found at the beginning of an author’s first book. It is a tribute to a wife who loves her husband and know how he needs her to build him up. This is really what submission is all about. It is an attitude of heart and mind, aiming to promote the desires and welfare of one’s partner. It depends on love. Only a woman liberated by the love of Christ can fully know the submission God asks of her. The Holy spirit compares a wife’s submission to her husband to the Lord (Eph. 5:22) and the submission of the whole church to the Lord (v.2) It is helpful to describe such submission and so get clues about how a wife should submit to her husband. Here are three suggestions……you can thing of others.

1.BE GRATEFUL

How grateful we are to Christ for offering us a relationship with Himself! We belong to Him and we can call Him our Lord and our Saviour. So too, a wife is glad that she belongs to her husband and that he knows her as his wife.

Husband and wife have entered a partnership together. Instead of running their lives Independently, they have to learn to ‘think together’. This is the mutual submission God asks of them (v. 21). The wife can help her husband to be the leader of their partnership by becoming the counseller who helps her husband to make decisions: this is the special submission asked of the wife (v. 22). She advises him, not selfishly, but in ways she believes are best for both of them. This could also be called ‘joyful co-operation’.

Being human, we often make mistakes. A wife who loves her husband will try not turn out well but will share the blame. It is a temptation for a gifted woman to try to take over the leadership of the partnership, perhaps because she feels insecure when her husband tries to lead. On the other hand, husbands sometimes take the seemingly lazy way of letting their wives do the leading, until it becomes a habit which is difficult to change. Both husband and wife need the grace and love and power of the Holy Spirit, in order to fulfill their God-given appointments of leader and helper (v. 18)

2. HOLD YOUR TONGUE!

Perhaps others like me, discovered in themselves a sensitive temper after marriage. This is because we are so emotionally dependant, in marriage. A wife needs constant reassurance that her husband truly values her. She may not understand at first that her husband also needs such assurance from her. Women like to think that men are independent and brave, and a wife may find it hard to accept that her husband is so human that he needs comfort and praise. He also needs forgiveness like she does.

When a husband and wife disagree, both may be tempted to use spiteful words, especially when feelings are hurt. On such occasions, their mutual respect for each other may be saved by one of them having the grace to forgive the other before the quarrel has gone too far. A wife can be like those women who stood near to the cross , if she acts with compassion for her husband at time like this. How Jesus Himself appreciates such love! The beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is very valuable to God (I Peter 3; 4 – 6) Notice that this submission is not the result of fear (v .6) : it is the birth right of every believer to lose fear (I John 4: 18 ). The woman who is discovering her great value to God will learn to submit to her husband without fear.

A wife greatly needs God ’s inner strength when she feels her husband is wrong and she is right. (compare I peter 3 : 1,2 )we have to learn to listen to our husbands, learn to keep quiet at the right time. This is a love discipline from the lord, for our good .This is far preferable to having a husband who retreats into a ‘shell ’ because his wife refuses to listen to Him.

3. BE CREATIVE

” The Lord takes delight in His people “(psa.149 :4 ) it is a joyous thing when god ‘s people use and develop the gifts He has created in them -singing writing, teaching, and many others. Similarly, a wife can cultivate her gifts for the benefit of her husband. Bearing children is one example of this-using her gift of motherhood and bring joy to them both.

A woman’s creativity is used to its fullest extent in developing relationships. She is able to assist the growth of her children in mind and spirit. as well as in body and she needs to give her-self to this. Her relationship with her husband is even more important. Marriage is itself like an infant which has to be carefully fed, watched, cleansed and loved, so that it grows to maturity. The wife has a key part in this process! She has the sensitivity, the intuition, the patience it takes to dedicate herself to this ministry. It takes submission to lay aside other things which interfere with it and to give priority to cultivating her marriage. Realising its importance to the wellbeing of the family, and to the church, helps her to submit in this way.

Creativity takes time

We need to have relaxed conversation with our husbands in order to build up relationship. If we are too busy for this, there is something wrong. It is like having too little time with the Lord – both He and we will suffer.

Taking the comparison further, how often we bring our list of request to the Lord, and never give Him time to speak what is on His heart! women are usually more ready to speak than men ; men like to think out what to say before voicing it. Some wives in discussion agreed sadly that their husbands rarely talked with them. Though this habit may be hard to change, I suggest that we wives need to make sure that we listen to any remark our husbands make, however brief. Sometimes I have to ask myself what I am most concerned about when my husband comes home in the evening: what kind of day he has had, or what happened to me that day? It needs submission to think of him first.

“God ‘s order for a wife in to be submissive. God ’s order always works well even though it runs contrary to modern trends. It is mainly for the order in the relation hips of the home”

Creativity requires prayer

Our husbands need prayer, and so does our relationship. We who are closest to them should be the best qualified to pray for them. As the Church promotes Christ’s cause on earth through prayer, so let us desire the total wellbeing of our husbands. Recently. l asked myself why l found it difficult to pray for my husband. I realised that I have a too idealistic picture of him in my mind. I would like him to be always successful, victorious, loving ………and this picture conflicts with what happens day by day in our lives. Resentment damages prayer. we need to experience the love of Christ, enabling us to pray for our husbands’ weak points with compassion and realism. Let us not fear to be cleansed from pretence, and let us give thanks for our husbands’ total being – body, mind and spirit.

Creativity involves self-giving and thoughtfulness

All women are artistic. Why not make something beautiful for your husband? A decorated Bible verse, or a favourite dish; even a song, if you are musical, may be just the thing to convey to him how valuable he is to you. By giving yourself to your husband, you are pleasing the Lord, who created your body with its beauty and sexuality.

Submission is not a sign of inferiority, but of grace. We follow the example of Christ, who submitted Himself to the Father. but did not lose any of His value in doing so. so. Because of His redeeming love, Christ took the pathway of submission. Let us enter into the liberty of spirit which He won for us on the Cross, and learn the submission of mature love.

-Jane Martin