The word “joyful” refers to a great inward happiness, not necessarily to what we might call a bubbly, happy temperament, but to the possession of a great good—a good so great that it floods the heart and gives an abiding inward joy or satisfaction to one’s soul. That is the meaning of joy in Scripture. Certainly, we may show outward happiness. But when the Scriptures speak of joy, they are referring to something within, something deep within, present even in the midst of grief, something, in fact, that grief causes to shine.

The picture, then, of this joy is that of the heart, of a restfulness and satisfaction of soul in God, an abiding joy that can be possessed by every believing woman who abides in Him.

The enemy has uniquely designed arrows for mothers. They are darts of comparison, worry, criticism, weariness.

1. Comparison: Having one’s eyes on another’s abilities or home or family or income or priorities is a sure-fire way to breed discouragement. Satan lies and tells you how parenting, operating in your call, and serving should look. He fails to mention that God has made you for a unique purpose.

2. Distraction: Losing focus on God’s calling in my life, allowing my gaze to linger too long on the things of the world or on my fleshly desires, causes discontentment and defeat.

3. Discouragement: We may feel, “What’s the point? There’s so much to do, and the result we achieve would be nothing significant or praise-worthy and would be like a drop in the ocean.

4. Self- doubt and self – questioning: These are the fiery darts of the devil. We often feel lonely, insecure, and overwhelmed in mothering because we forget by whose power in which we mother in the first place. Am I really fit to be a mother? Did God really choose me to be their mother? The devil’s scheme is to break mothers away from God’s good and sovereign plan for us in Christ, and separate us from the faith of the gospel and the power of the cross.

5. Do More: A major move of the enemy is to overextend us. If Satan can get us feeling like we need to do more, he’s got us held down by a full schedule.

6. Unplanned obstacles: Trials, burdens, sickness and heartaches can catch us off guard and bring discouragement.

7. Perfectionism: As mothers we experience frustrations and disappointments. We make mistakes. There are countless facets to the roles God has given us, and we are only human, after all – faulty and flawed, the whole lot of us. How can we possibly do it all……

8. Numerous demands and pressures: Motherhood is sacrifice. One of the areas most of us struggle to be joyful is when our hearts or attitudes struggle with sacrifice. It is not easy putting one’s self last for the needs of others. It discourages, disheartens, makes us feel like quitting, running away and tires us out.

Each of us have a different set of joy killers. You might even take a moment now to jot down four or five things that tend to kill your joy so you’re prepared next time they strike. Thankfully, however, God also gives each of us joy givers to replenish our joy in Him.

Joy-givers

Ø The Word of God: When we sense our joy slipping or needing renewal, we can carve out extra time to personally study God’s Word. “Thy words were found, and I did eat them; and thy word was unto me the joy and rejoicing of mine heart: for I am called by thy name, O LORD God of hosts.” Jeremiah 15:16

Ø Stop Comparing: Let us not compare ourselves to other moms. Our situations change DAILY, and the mom who seemingly has it all together today may be struggling tomorrow. Also consider that what you see in public is often not the norm at home. We are part of the Body of Christ, and our gifting and service won’t look the same as someone else’s. There is freedom in who God has called us to be. The Bible tells us what types of things we should think about (Philippians 4:8) – since comparison doesn’t line up with God’s standard, we need to redirect those thoughts toward what is true, honourable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praiseworthy.

Ø Refocus your perspective: We would do well to remember an old chorus: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus; look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.” The more time we spend in the presence of the One who called us in the first place, the more joy we’ll have in that calling.

Ø Realign your priorities: Once we’ve refocused our perspective, we may discover that our priorities need to be adjusted. Misplaced priorities can be the root cause of distractions and overwhelm. Let’s consider what non-essentials are receiving too much of our time and attention, and then make the necessary changes. When we can clarify our priorities, set healthy boundaries, and then live by that, it is much easier to have a joyful perspective even during hard seasons of sacrifice.

Ø The local church/fellowship: The local church is one of God’s most precious gifts—especially when you need joy. There is nothing that will realign your perspective like corporate praise with God’s people and biblical preaching from God’s Word.

Ø Godly friends: Every Christian needs godly friends with whom they can be transparent—friends who help in our low moments by reminding us of God’s promises and His truth. Let’s surround ourselves with people who build us up and encourage us.

Ø Being grateful: Joyful mothers make a conscious effort to find things for which they’re thankful. They train their minds to look for blessings and choose to focus their attention on these things instead of on the things that hurt. Ann Voskamp, in her book 1000 Gifts, said this: “We don’t have to change what we see. Only the way we see.” We don’t have to have a perfect life to be thankful, and we don’t have to be free from pain to give thanks.

May we as moms strive to be selfless and love sacrificially; giving of ourselves daily no matter how tired, depressed, selfish we feel at that moment. Remember if we change our attitude about it, we will do it unbegrudgingly. All that we need to do is ask of God ” Lord, I can’t do this, please give me strength” and He will give us the strength to do it. Psalm 28: 7 says “The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and He helps me.” We also read “Casting all your care upon Him; for He careth for you.—1 Peter 5:7

The call of motherhood has been entrusted to you personally, sovereignly, and directly. No other mother can be you to your children. That’s why unhealthy comparison with other moms, and judging your parenting by peeking over your shoulder into other families is not only foolish, but also robbing your children of God’s design of motherhood for them. Motherhood is not only God’s design for you as a mother, it is also God’s design for your children as recipients of your mothering.

Everyone has joy killers in their lives, but we all have joy givers too. The challenge for us is to identify the joy killers so we remember to replenish with the joy givers. Of course, a side challenge is to be a joy giver, not a joy killer.

-Beulah Chandrasekar